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11.07.2004

A safe place

I've been thinking about this one e-mail I have, that was sent to me last January when I graduated. The plan was that I would stay in the area and look for a job before heading off to grad school somewhere. I've been thinking about it because what she says is important, but I'm afraid to drag her into this anymore than she already has been. She's truly one of Taylor's few shinning stars -- someone that I see becoming VP there if not more. She was an undying support for me, I might not be here today if it wasn't for her. Through all of this, I've lost her friendship. That's a crushing blow to me; an ongoing pain much too real and raw to let myself deal with right now. It's not her fault -- she works for the school and even while I was still there, they put her in the awkward position of being the one they questioned the most about me. I won't forget what she's done for me, and I won't forget these words from one of the last e-mails I ever received from her:

"You are not alone through this. I was hoping you would just spill it all the other night. But you didn't and I didn't want to push you. I honestly have no idea what to think about all of this stuff. I hear so much...

I would like to tell you to stay around here, but I honestly don't know that that is the best plan for you. You will continue to be questioned and if anything else happens, you will be a target. I have to be honest with you about that. I can't say that I consider Taylor a safe place for you anymore." (emphasis mine)

I'm not releasing her name at this point, because I don't want to make things at the school any more difficult for her than I may have already. I will post a PDF of the e-mail as soon as I can.

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