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11.20.2004

Life Together

The conversation here has taken a turn I well expected. Loyalty and the expectation of loyalty to Taylor are fierce powers.

I remember being overly offended one day, as I listened to a mass communication major complain about the school (and in that department, we had mucho to complain about). "I believed the admissions lies," she said to me.

Wait. I work there. I work hard there. I love working there. We don't lie. At least I didn't. At least, not until the end. By my last summer on campus I found it nearly impossible to give tours. The thought of telling one more group of people how wonderful Taylor was made me literally want to cry. I wanted to tell them how I hurt -- how I'd been hurt. How I suffered trauma that I will undoubtedly carry with me in some form for the rest of my life. Yet I sucked it up and took the art of spin to new heights. I'm glad I'm a good actor. After all, apps were down that year and I had a job to do.

All that to say, I understand the defensiveness. As students, most of us got to see the school through rose colored glasses. My rose colored glasses got trampled, and that's probably a good thing. Take yours off and look real hard. Reality has a way of just sneaking up on you, so be careful. Don't do it unless you're prepared for the truth.

And yeah, there's something to be said for turning the other cheek, I'm sure. Some of you seem to be telling me to do that, as if it's the first time I've ever heard it. Well, I turned the other cheek so many times at Taylor that I started spinning in circles.

Yes, people are sinful. I know that. People make mistakes. I know that. We all get hurt. I know that. And I can forgive all that. I have forgiven all that.

But then, there's how we respond to those we've hurt. I'm not going to repeat the Life Together Covenant, here. We all know what it says. I know it by heart, I read it over and over again to hundreds of families that passed through Taylor's doors.

I guess, I just expected Taylor to live up to the ideal that it crams down its student's throats. The notion of community and life together. I guess I didn't expect them to toss out the LTC when I started to apply it to them. When I decided that I would hold them accountable, that I'd confront them in love, the gloves came off and the LTC was no where to be found.

But then, I think my copy of the LTC was defective. It must've been incomplete because I'm still looking for the clause about calling in your lawyer when a conflict arises. I can't find the part about issuing criminal trespass orders to people who challenge you, either. I didn't notice that there was a part where when/if someone may have done/did something wrong we spread that information behind their back to everyone we can think off. I also missed the section that says we're to disrespect the privacy rights and sacrosanct communications to make ourselves feel better. I'd love to read the part about subjecting each other to medical tests against our will.

This is my obligation to Taylor and its community. I will fulfill it. Ask yourself why you're angry with me. Because I'm disloyal to the school? Or, is it because I actually have something to be disloyal about?